Something Secret (2007)

Something Secret

You probably feel

Like nothing good is coming your way.

Tired of life, scared to hope,

Shying away from the light

I tell you, don't hide yourself away.

For a moment it may seem

That time decided to work against you

Against your dreams

And if the world would fall

Don't stop saving it

Don't stop trying.

Because you know

Something secret sleeping in your heart

It's this waiting that's killing it

So wake up and start

To tackle darkness with courage

Uncertainty with hope

And knowing that in the end

This secret won't be all your own.

Love Song :) (2008)

This is my love song for you
And I will sing it out of tune
Because I'm too crazy to sing this right
It's silly but it's true. And...

I think I've gone a bit overboard crazy
They find me drunk at lunch from being your baby.
Oh, you make me mad at the moon
When I look back on all the ones that have made me

The girl they like to call a little bit crazy, oh-oh, oh. It's you.

You've got me singing out of tune.

I can't help but love the way you laugh
The way you double up when I kiss you back

The way we play love like little kids
When you take my hand I slap it away
I'll take a hug and a kiss on any day

I think I've gone a little crazy
I'm singing out of tune
This is my love song for you
You make me mad at the moon.

For a while I have tried
To find someone who'll keep me on the ground
But I know it will be meaningless
I'll still be singing this out of tune
And I'd rather be with you. :)

Great Way to Be

Open windows let in a sigh, I look out at a beautiful summer night. The laptop is open, I've got work to do, but all I've been doing is thinking of you. Music is playing, I'm singing out loud, these words are dancing, I want you around. I might have to hate you to get me some peace, but no.

This feeling is too sweet to ignore
Sure it hurts but then I'd be bored

I'm going out jogging tonight, I'll smell flowers and grass, sweet scents of the past. That's the road I grew up in, where I climbed up the clouds and you saw me. We never thought you'd have me, it took us by surprise, blood started to rise. And then we were gone, the stars hindered our flight. And yes they were right, you needed her light.

This feeling is too sweet to ignore
Sure it hurts but then I'd be bored

I see how you've grown now, and yes I am proud, I'm so silly, you're wise, this is the path I'll follow now. The next bend is yours, we'll meet someday and then, somehow, somewhere, we'll grow up again. That's the chair we sat on, she plotted your dreams. This love will take you higher, I'll watch from the trees.

This feeling is too sweet to ignore
Sure it hurts but then I'd be bored

Here's your silly girl, who grew up with clouds. She fell to the ground and was laughing out loud when you found her, grass stains were stuck to her face. The skirt was all over, she's tangled in lace.

Brown eyes that meet, who knew each other before, will always remember being kids on the floor. Wrestling on backyards and fighting for cake, he ate all the burnt pies she started to bake.

Caring for kittens, and laughing till night, she broke tita's dishes, he hid them in fright. Wanting to hold her, that very first day, when she told him at last, I'm moving away.

This feeling is too sweet to ignore
Sure it hurts but then I'd be bored

They swung across rivers, on frayed ropes, you see.
And that in itself, is a great way to be.

Stars

Here it is, the roof I fell from, straight to hell, half in love with you.
You grabbed my hand and hauled me back, hurtling to the stars and said, Scorched and tired lands are not enough for you, we laughed. There you go, hit high on endless skies, lost in eternity.

How can you know me so well, when I said I'd never let anyone in. Just shows how big a fool I've been, to keep the world out while you danced, smiling and lonely, so beautiful a boy to distract me.

Before I knew it, the waves were gone and it's low tide tonight
Back in the shore you stand and wave, half love and spark on your lips, I'm grinning madly with disbelief, you got through to me. Here it is, the glow of light, beating steadily against my heart

Your hands are warm against me, a slight tremble, and there it is again, that gentle laugh as we lie on the grass and wrestle, brilliant fire explodes in the sky. You'd never let me fly away from you because I'd fall, too blind to see. Strange, I'd fall like a lightning ball, straight and through, diving to the sea.

How can you know me so well, when I said I'd never let anyone in. Just shows how big a fool I've been, to keep the world out while you danced, smiling and lonely, so beautiful a boy to distract me.

Get used to my arms around you, I can't escape.
Don't ever want to, I see myself lost in grace,
You see me as I never dared to dream
That I'd be immortal and beloved,
Like stars.

Not Half Way Through

You hurt me sleeping, and now, awake
Close my eyes to the sweetest ache, baby I want you.
Do I have to tell you, over and over flowers that bloom
on a moonlit night, hey your toes are all frozen
Warm them by the lamp light, I laugh. You left too soon.

I don't mind the cold, you smile and kiss me wide awake
I forgot my shoes.. you whisper. And I forgot my pants.. you kiss me.
You did not! I giggle. Fine, my pj's then, but I've missed so little.
I brought myself and I'm loving you. You make me wild just feelin' you.
I'd rather I forgot them all, sweetheart..

Shut your dirty mouth and kiss me, I cut in and
our laughter startle birds awake that night.

There's a chill in the air as we whisper..
Heat on our lips we can't fight it. You shouldn't be here
But you are, I love the way you came this far
Just to prove me wrong.

Coz I said, don't you dare come near here,
I'll hate you forever. There's nothing to talk about please don't
Listen to what your parents will say. Don't take that car out of the driveway
I don't want you here, but you didn't listen

And now we're caught in the brightest morning,
our bodies aching. I'm blinded by how high the sky is
How sweetly the stars shine. You're mine, he whispers.
You're mine.

And when light is breaking and the folks are stirring,
We remove ourselves from the nest we're making
For the next night and tonight, we're never through
I'm not half way through making love to you.

Stop it now, you whisper as you grip my wrist tight.
The deed is done, and you're running a mile today
I know you deny me girl, I can't make you stay.
But look out tonight, when the world's asleep

I'll be here with you, I'll be in so deep.
You might brush me off and say we're through
But I can see your lie coz you want me to.
Baby I'm crazy, I don't know what to do
I'm not half way done falling in love with you.

Bride

There's a bride in the restroom I hide in the cubicle
Cameramen wait in the hallway outside
She calls to me, asks me to be there
Women crowd around her and stare

Thinking, I want to be you.
I wanna be the girl he's gonna be married to.

The sequins glisten and her eyes sparkle
I'll comb her hair and make him wonder
Is it possible to have someone, so perfect and fair
He'll never know I do her hair.

Doors open, it's camera, action
He steps out of the room, I see the attraction
I whisper to the bride. But honestly, are you sure?
She beams with pride, I want to hide.

He walks past me, she's perfect for you
I close my eyes and remember the scent of that fateful afternoon
But she's in love and you're in love with her...

I.

Today I can smile again, finally
In a way that doesn't distract me.
You're gone and I'm gone
We'll be moving on.

The day shines brighter
And now I'm much stronger
I'm sad to leave you behind
But you had that in mind.

Chorus:
And so today is the last day
I'll ever think of you
I might slip, I guess. But bit by bit
My dream will come true

I'll forget how your lips felt
And how you say a couple of words
I won't be living my life with regret
That will be yours.

II.

It's not that I hate you
You were nice enough, that's for sure
It's not that I don't want you happy
But babe, I was the cure you were lookin' for

And now you've let me slip by you
You know that much is true
You'll spend some days just thinking of me
And I won't think of you.

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:

But that's the way it all has to end
You're my lover, now my friend
Everything will change for you
But for me, I'm going places
I won't think of you.

Untitled

D-Em-Am-Cadd9-G chords were used. Hmm.. Parang medyo weird. :)) Ah well. I just went by ear and what felt right. :)) Rather... Sounded. Though... It doesn't sound quite right. :)) She will help me!!! Dibaaa Sheeee!! *wink wink*

The church in ABS-CBN is beautiful. I took the whole morning taking flight with myself. There's a lot of things on my mind, but mostly, I thought about the people around me, my faith and God. Light filtered through the stained-glass window behind the altar. No one was inside the church save myself, some bugs and birds that hastened to drop by. I exchanged a few words with the cross. I noticed spiderwebs on the corners underneath the well-used wooden benches.

Walking towards the office, I was gripped by a tune in my head. My phone was dead so I had no choice but to grab the guitar, rush off to the stock room and hope I could pick out the right chords to accompany my non-existent lyrics. Once there I took the advice of Marie Digby and let the words flow with the tune. Before, I used to create the words first before the melody (since I'm singing-tone-deaf and I didn't know how to play an instrument) and nothing ever came of it. Now, I found I was actually able to create not a poem or a melody, but a song. I was able to create the sound of my feelings and thoughts. It was an exquisite experience. Now I have two songs under my belt and it... invigorates me. The power to create has always moved my spirit.

Even when a couple of men emerged from the wall around me I remained unperturbed, muttering only a distracted "Hello Kuya," as I concentrated on my work. I wonder who they were. :)) And what they were doing inside the airvents. Ah. Maintenance people probably, I realize.

Here's what I've made so far:

I.

D Em
I took some time this morning
Getting to know myself
D Em C
It's been awhile, I've been afraid
D Em
I'm wary of myself.

G Em
It took a lot of thinking
Trying to name my fears last night (trying to tame my fears)
G Am
I've got to face myself this time
D Em
I'll find my way to light

Chorus: (I think?)

D Cadd9
I want you to know
D G
I've been wrong, but I'll be strong and whole for me

Cad99 D Am
This won't be the end of me

Em-Cadd9-Em-Cadd9

II.

Cadd9 Em C
I took some time alone at church
D Em
Talking to God alone
Em Am
I told him about the things I've done (up singing tone)
D Em
I can't make it on my own

Someday Soon

Someday soon, I will hold you
Close to my heart, I have loved you.
Someday soon, I will see your eyes
And see love.

Someday soon, you will see me,
And see love.

Someday soon, may never be.
One thing you can't take away from me
Is to dream of you and hold your hand
In my heart and mind.

When my eyes close at night
I whisper dreams to you
I ache with hope for you.

Even in the darkness of a world without you,
Light makes me smile.. I am blinded by light
And I ache with affection for you.

I stop myself from telling you,
Darling, I love you.

My Little Secret

I try to figure this out, who'd have thought I'd be the kind of girl who'd do a lot of thinking
She's the one that runs out screaming, crying, singing to an abandoned building far away

Can you believe I'm writing this but I was in the bathroom thinking
A lot about what I've been feeling, I dared to sing the words out loud
The toilet made a flushing sound

The lady blushed, a knowing look was all I could see
Even a stranger knows what you're doing to me
A minute pause, I feel no shame and end up laughing
And remembering how we would talk and glance at each other
Now here's a secret like no other

You look down on your feet when you're looking at me
I want to wrap your arms around me
We stand her thinking, I'm like, do it already
But the phone rings, a door slams, we both jump
And the moment's gone around.

Rain is slapping hard against the window panes
Little feet dance on my roof, I wonder where you are right now.
There are too many feelings playing mind tricks on my heart
The storm is as strong outside

Starry Skies

I feel alone without you.
A whole lot of me is just not here.
I wonder why... I feel like this.

That was a cold night, I remember
When you held my hand and said some words
It took the magic out of forever
You knew just what to whisper to me

It was more than eternity
Greater than starry skies
There was something in your eyes
That spoke of more than forever
More than eternity

You've got me, you're all I see
I've got you, and you've got me
This place will never be the same
And if you decide to fly
I'll be close by

Just beyond you, I whisper
Just beside you, you say
There's a soft smile on your face

There was something in your eyes
That spoke of more than forever
More than eternity
It all took place
Beneath the golden tree

Your touch told me about it
A gentle kiss on the cheek
Was more than enough
To touch my heart and yours

It was something more
There was something in your eyes
That said it all
Better than those starry skies
You said

And my heart grew
You've held my world apart
That scent I miss..
A gentle kiss.

That night I felt you warm against me
It was something more
Better than those starry skies, you said
You took the magic of eternity

I Smile

Every time I remember you, my heart does a little dance.
Every time I remember you, my heart sings. It's a fast track.

All the time I think of you and I smile.
All the minutes since then has something to do with you.
On the coldest nights I whisper your name.
It's when the crickets sing the loudest, and the moon glows its brightest song.

On the greatest moments I feel you closest to me.
I close my eyes and feel you around me.

In my life, I'll always remember you there.
Every moment burning bright.
It's like moonlight, starlight and sunlight.
At every time, it felt just right.

You read victories by lamplight.
And that random thought? It just felt right. :))

In my heart, I hold you close.
It will be like this for as long as it should.
Just like leaves that let go when it's time for fall
And grass smell sweetest with rainfall

When I think of you, I smile.
The warmest summer evenings come to mind.
Lying there in darkness, beneath a scented tree
Lights come on behind us, in houses up ahead
Bull frogs sing their grand song and echoes fill my head
Your quiet laugh joins their chorus.

Peace is in the air.
I am glad. You've brought joy to my life.
A deep recognition, I think it is.
I am wordless, but it's just how it is.

And when I think of you, I smile inside.
When I think of you, I ache inside.

My feelings are simple, like that.
You've got my world, love.
And that's everything of me.

Yellow light fills my life.
I see your light and I bow my head.
It fills me up inside.

And when I think of you, I smile..

T_T

Lay me down to rest
With moonbeams as my coverlet
And dewdrops as my tears
Lay my head on a starlit pillow
And kiss my dreams goodnight

(Marj, Circa 1999)

Of Joy

Here are moments now
That blind me

You hold me, and I stare
Unable to move
Unable to cry
Unable to breathe

For I wish to love, darling.
I wish to soar with you
I wish to fly and be by myself

And I hold my breath
To stop myself from loving you

And a cry, sweet cry
dissolves into bitter laughter
and is reborn to genuine bursts
of joy.

My Simple Song to You

You made me high
You made me fly
You mean the world to me.

The moment that passed
Touched surface, like a pebble
Sweet stirrings in me.

A glow that will never fade
You touched my life, gentle light.
Like stars that shine forever
In all lifetimes, and the next.

You illuminate dark spaces
Just by being.

I am not afraid anymore. ü

I see further now.
I know myself better.
The catalyst was you.
May you always remember.

There is no regret, only hope
There is no bitterness, only gentle echoes
of true emotion and shared stories.

Let tender whispers touch your ear
Every night as you sleep.

I bless you, dear.
When you drift into dreams
Let the day's coming and goings
Bring peace to your heart.

When you wake up in the morning,
The birds sing, so simple are my words
In this simple song with lovely meanings.

It's enough to tell you,
without hesitation and pride.
With all my heart, I love you. ü

Won't Last

Two hearts beat in tune
One is cold, one is warm
Four breaths of wanting
And the world is still

Without fear I step
Closer to your door
I wait at the steps
And see no more

I wish to see more.

Movement from inside
Scampering feet from the outside
Can you not see? I want you to be
The root of my tree
The entirety of me.

The wind is unseen
To me and you
But the world cannot feel
What is me, who are you?

I feel like a lie
You dissapeared so fast
And I lie here aching
And then, it won't last.